Raw Fish Leaves Bad Taste in Mouth

One hundred and twelve of the nation's 'Tsunami' sushi restaurants have already changed their name following the devastating wave that hit Japan last month. A further two hundred are said to be considering a change.

"It makes sense," said a local man on the high street yesterday as he watched an Asian man on a ladder pull down a large neon wave from the front of a small restaurant that promised the number one sushi in town. “You don’t want to associate your food with such a tragedy, I guess it’s disrespectful somehow.”

Patrons at a nearby bar were heard to speculate further. “You don’t want to remind people of nuclear waste and washed up corpses when you’re serving a raw, pungent smelling product,” said a hip young man with large lamb chop sideburns.
       “You can’t blame them," added the bar man who was attending night classes in Business Administration. "A BBQ place is going to do more business trading as ‘Squealers,’ than ‘The Tortured Pig', it’s just simple marketing.”

The American Association of Restaurateurs issued a call for support from the dining public. “Please don’t let the images of all the recent ocean based disasters, the gulf oil spill or the recent Tsunami which cracked open several nuclear reactors, stop you from eating fish. Yes the water is contaminated. But the ocean has always been the dumping ground for dead bodies, fecal waste and dangerous chemicals and it hasn’t stopped millions enjoying all kinds of fish or sushi before and it shouldn’t do so now.”

At the Tsunami Bar and Grill in Orange County business remained bullish and there were no plans to change the name. Chef Parson Hughes said he doubted anything would stop people eating sushi, “the dangerous mercury levels in Salmon, the fact that the entire fish market is controlled by the True World Group which is a front for the cult led by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon, the routine slaughter of dolphins as revealed in films like The Cove, none of it matters. People just don’t care. As long as they can fill their fat faces and get stoned on sake they just can’t get enough of this shit.”